


Swing Low

by chupathingy



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom!Cas, Character Death, Death, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Fluff, Fighting, Hope, Injury, Letters, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Sex, Slavery, Star Gazing, Stars, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural AU: Not Hunters, War, corpse, death all around, destiel smut, ha ha ha ha, hankey pankey, solider!Dean, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-07 17:39:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chupathingy/pseuds/chupathingy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“ Swing low, sweet chariot comin’ for’ to carry me home!” Home. That’s all Dean Winchester thinks of as he marches along side Alfie, his secret lover’s younger brother. The year is 1861, and the war between the states was just about to peak into a full fledged bloodbath. Dean fights because he has to, to save his own brother from meeting his fate on the battlefield. “ Sammy got a better future than lying dead in the dirt someplace” he hopes he’s right. Dean had promised to write, and he did. But when the letters begin to fade-then stop abruptly can Cas keep faith in Dean’s survival? How much longer can he ignore Meg’s advances for marriage? Dean fights not only for his brother, he fights for the sacrifice that is love-and would rather die for that than anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secrets are Poison

**Author's Note:**

> So, hello..um just a few things. Slavery does play a minor roll in this fic, so just be expecting it when it comes. This is my first time posting so I hope you like it. The account is shared by my writing partner and I, so some chapters will have note written by her and not me. Now that you have that boring bit out of the way you can enjoy the fic! P.S. I also posted this on Fanfiction. Net and will post it on LiveJournal as soon as I can figure out how to use it.

Dean woke long before the first rooster cried. He quietly propped himself up on his elbows and yawned, careful not to wake the sleeping man next to him, taking a moment to admire his flushed cheeks and tousled dark hair before he slid out of the bed. He slowly made his way down the stairs and shucked on his clothing. Sneaking carefully down the hall, he made a small detour to the kitchen and found Missouri, the help, making buttered bread and grits.  
“ Missouri? What are you doing?” Dean hissed, alarmed at the noise.  
“ Well, I had a feeling you gonna be out early so I make you some breakfast. Eat.” She set the bowl in front of him. Dean shushed her and she cocked her head and put her hands on her hips.

“ Don’t you dare shush me boy, you may be mah mastah, but I knows where you been going so early in the morning.” Dean raised an eyebrow, not sure weather to be angry or confused “Now sit ya self down and eat ya grits boy, or I gon’ whack you o’er the head with my spoon”  
“ I don’t need no breakfast,” Dean whispered, eyes shifting from Missouri’s stern face to the kitchen door, hoping Cas would not walk through hazy eyed and still warm from sleeping.  
“ Corse’ you need ya breakfast, you’ll walk roun’ tired eyed all day long if ya don’t. Now eat.” Dean sighed and picked up the bread and took a bite. He was trying to be spiteful, but it all tasted too good.  
“ Thanks Missouri. You have no need to tell Cas I went out.” Missouri pursed her lips. Secrets were poison, she knew, but something kept her from arguing.  
“ That fine. Now you go on and do what you need to. Tell that little thing Todd to come by if he hungry” Todd was the young beggar boy who often walked with Dean in the morning when he went into town.  
“ Yes, Missouri. He be happy to know.” Dean turned around to see Missouri smile and place a hand to her chest.  
“ I just love lil’ chillen’” she turned back to her pots and waved him away with her spoon.  
“ Go on. Get outta mah kitchen.” Dean piled his stuff together and and got up from the table. He was getting ready to walk out the door when Missouri fussed.  
“ Put ya’ coat on boy! You gon’ catch yo death of a cold!” Dean puffed his cheeks, annoyed and grabbed his coat off the large steel nail by the door.  
“ Give Cas my love when he wakes”  
“ I will, child” Dean could hear the warmth in her voice. He stepped out of the house and the chill hit him almost immediately. He wrapped his coat a little tighter around himself and dug his hand into his pocket, surprised when his fingers made contact with four copper pieces. He had more than enough to buy a nice chunk of bacon for Missouri to make with dinner. It wasn’t long before he saw the sleeping form of little Todd, huddled along the side of the rode and shivering from the cold. Dean knelt by him and put a hand on his shoulder.  
“ Todd, wake up” the boy sat up fast and jumped to his feet, eyes wide and alert.  
“ Don’ do that to me Dean! You startled the soul outta me!” Dean grinned and slapped him on the back.  
“ Sorry, I got some news for you.” Todd huffed, his breath white in the cold of the morning frost.  
“ You can’t wait till the sun is up?” He crossed his skinny arms over his chest. “ What news you got for me?” Dean shrugged off his coat, he wouldn’t need it much longer, and put it over Todd’s tiny shoulders.  
“Missouri wants you to go to my house. She gonna feed you good. but first go buy a slab of bacon from the butcher. Can I trust you to do that?” Todd nodded and put his arms into the way too big sleeves.  
“ You even gotta ask?” the boy looked mighty funny in Dean’s big coat. It hung all the way down to his knees and the sleeves were three times too big.  
“ Off you go then. Stop by the baker and buy youself a roll with the leftover.” Todd scampered off, and Dean walked only five minutes longer before he heard the voices of tired and excited men. There was a war soon to be fought, and Dean saw it as an opportunity to make a bit of money. They would be fighting the North, those damned Yankees and their uptight ways. He walked up to the line only to find Garth, another farmer, looking soulm.  
“ Didn’t think you favored war.” Dean said as a greeting. Garth looked up and took on his usual goofy personality and grinned at Dean.  
“ I don’t, but I ain’t got nothin’ to lose, do I?” He was right. He had no family, he lived alone save the two servants he owned. “ Why are you here, Dean? You got plenty to stay for.” Dean nodded and looked around when he caught a glimpse of another familiar face. “Dean?” Garth called, but Dean was already moving to get a better look. As he got closer, he saw that it was Cas’ younger brother, Alfie. Just as he started to walk away from line to ask him what the hell he was doing, a large hand on his chest pushed him back.  
“ Stay in line if you want to enlist, please.” sighing, Dean stepped back and shuffled forward as the slow moving line surged forward.  
“ I figured I could make some good money. We ain’t gon be gone too long, North can’t be too much to handle.” He and Garth chuckled a bit and stepped forward every now and then. It got quiet and Dean’s mind fell on Alfie, a small scrawny little fella of about fifteen, far to young to fight a war.  
“ Say Garth,” Dean drawled, taking in a good glimpse of a few other boys Alfies age and younger. “ Waddya say these boys are here for. they can’t fight less’ they eighteen.” Garth smiled sadly and looked around.  
“ Some gotta do it for the money, some got that war fever.” Dean nodded and supposed it was true. Boys didn’t know what war really was, what it was like. They only heard stories about the good times.  
“ Someone oughtta get em’ out before they do somethin’ stupid.” Garth shrugged.  
“ An army needs drummers, who else better do that than dem boys over there?” anyone was better than a child, Dean supposed. There was nothing he could do about it.

By time Dean got to the front, the men at the tables already seemed to be ready to go home.  
“ Are you eighteen or older?” a grey haired man asked, sipping from a large bottle of brandy.  
“ I am,” Dean said, puffing out his chest a bit.  
“ do you stand to that statement?” It all seemed very stupid to Dean. It was obvious he was over eighteen, but it was regulation.  
“ Yes sir, I do.” A woman started to take his measurements and a boy wrote down the numbers she called out. Once it was done, Dean signed his name on a sheet of paper and the man behind him stepped up to the desk. That was it, he was enlisted.

Dean dawdled on his way home, partly because he didn’t want to tell anyone where he’d been, and partly because he wanted to talk to Alfie and see what the hell the boy was thinking signing up for the war. He dug his hands deep in his pockets and dragged his feet along in the orange-red dust of the Mississippi country. The sun was just barely dripping over the horizon, and the chill in the air was being lifted and replaced by a mild warmth. There was work to be done soon. Cows to milk and chickens to feed, but Dean’s mind just kept wondering. Why was he going? Sure, the money would be nice, but why leave? So Sam wouldn’t. Sam was his little brother, though there was nothing little about him. Sam had a better future than lying dead in the dirt somewhere, and Dean knew he could send his brother to school with the money he would make from fighting. That’s why he had to do it. If he didn’t do it who would?

When Dean walked into the house he could hear Missouri humming and the sloshing of a washtub. He walked into the kitchen to see Todd, looking like a drowned rat.  
“ Look at ya boy, I never seen ya so clean in your life” Missouri poured a bucket of water over his head and suds ran everywhere.  
“ Yeah, I ain’t so sure I like it too much.” Dean laughed and climbed the stairs. It was still early but Cas was usually up by daybreak. Dean knew he could tell Cas anything, nothing could really scare him away, and if it could the man would be long gone. But how to tell him he would be storming to the North was a different story. He was leaving, doing something he’d promised not to do. When Dean found Cas he was brushing down an old mare in the small stable they kept next to the house. He was stroking her long mane and feeding her carrots, and didn’t hear Dean walk up behind him.  
“ I was jus’ wondern what you been doing out so early.” So he had heard him. Dean cleared his throat and tried to get the words through resilient lips.  
“ Guess you oughta sit down, you ain’t gon like what you about to hear.” Cas turned around and cocked an eyebrow. He seemed to understand that Dean wasn’t kidding, and sat on the fence, wrapping his arms around the sturdy wood picket.  
“ What’s wrong? Is someone sick?” Dean smiled, it was melancholy.  
“ No, no. I’m sure you’ve heard about the North, bout how there’s gon be some fighting happenin real soon. They needed some men down there to enlist.” The realization seemed to slowly drip itself across Cas face, his expression morphed from one of curiosity to one of fear, then despair.  
“ you ain’t tellin’ me you enlisted. You ain’t tellin me that.” he shook his head from side to side, as if the thought would fall out of his ears and into the mud.  
“ That’s was I’m afraid I am sayin” Dean said, taking a seat next to him, covering Cas’ hand with his own.  
“ In a little while, just a little while I’ll be out there. I’m gon come back when I’m done. Simple as that.” Cas had moved from fear to anger.  
“ What if you get killed? I can’t lose you, you gone said you ain’t gon leave me!” it was a hard thing to do, and Dean’s heart sank into his stomach.  
“ I gotts do it for Sammy. You know how smart that boy be, he got a better place head of him that layin dead in the dirt. I said it before and I said it now. Sammy can’t fight, so I will.” Cas looked at him, eyes full of rage.  
“ You act like you ain’t got nothin here for you.” He pulled his hand away and stood, so as to not be touching Dean.  
“ You think Sam gotta better road head of him, so do we! We gots our whole lives to think about! here you go throwing it all away! What do you want me to do? Cry over you while you lay cold in one of dem boxes? No! I won’t!” He walked away, back up the grassy hill. Dean watched as he angerly shoved his boots off and went into the house.  
“ Give him time, old girl” he muttered to the beautiful black mare, Impala.  
“ He’ll see why I gotta go. Sides, I done saw that little thing Alfie up there. He ain’t but fifteen.” The horse clicked her teeth and pressed her nose into Dean’s pocket.  
“ I ain’t got nothing in there right now Pala, but you gotta listen to me. I’m gon be going real soon, and I expect you to hang in there. I’ll leave you with Rufus, he always be good with you.” Dean pulled around some hay and mucked out the stall a bit before moving on to some of the other chores. The work was hard and back breaking, but it was better than thinking about how angry Castiel was, or how upset Sam would soon be. Hell, Dean was upset himself. Though he didn’t know him all that well, he hated to see that Alfie was going to fight. He was a scrawny spot of a thing, how would he carry a gun like that. Then he thought of what garth had said. “ An army needs drummers” that gave him hope. 

The sun had fully risen, and Dean was about to take up some of Missouri’s chores so he would have something to do. He entered the barn to take a look at the cows and few goats they owned to find Missouri already there, humming a sweet song under her breath. She looked up when Dean walked in and clucked her tongue.  
“ You sure done it now” She looked at him in the disapproving way that made him feel ashamed of himself.  
“He’s mad, I know.” Missouri interrupted him with a small fit of laughter.  
“ That boy in there ain’t mad, he be heartbroken. He scared to death you ain’t gon be comin’ back. I’s scared of that too, but I knows you can handle yaself.” Dean sighed, he loved Missouri but he hated that she was never wrong. She somehow knew things, things you wouldn't expect her to know. She’d yell from the kitchen for Dean to take his boots off before he even touch the door handle, or yell that a bath was ready just before he asked for one. She was a mighty good lady and was Cas’ caretaker as a child.  
“ I’m not leaving just to leave I-”  
“ You gon go to get Sammy to school, I know child. You gotta do what you gotta do, Cassie will see that. You just gotts tell em.” She stood from the stool and set the full bucket of milk aside before grabbing a new one and getting started on another cow.  
“ I did tell him. he don wanna hear all that right now.” Dean took a pipe from his pocket and stuck it between his teeth, he lit it and took a long drag on the hickory burnt pipe ash.  
“ Take that damned thing outta yo mouth and talk to me.” Dean rolled his eyes and puffed a few times before putting it out. He really wasn’t in the mood for a smoke anyway.  
“ You just gotta give him some time to tink it over. You go and finish this up and I’ll cook the bacon ya sent Todd with. He’s a good boy by the way, Rufus’ givin him some of his old clothes from when he was a boy.” Rufus was Missouri’s son, who worked on the Novak plantation. The farm belonged to Cas’ brother Gabriel, who minded Alfie. Gabriel and Alfie were the last of Cas’ family, the rest of them had died in a fire during the dry season when he was sixteen. Alfie had been born a day before that fire, and the two remaining Novaks thank the pretty baby Jesus every day for it. How’d the feel if they knew that lucky little baby wants to test his fate further by running off to war?  
“ You know he signed up too.” Dean said, absentmindedly. Missouri stopped mid pump.  
“ Who signed up? Not my boy, he said he ain’t go no time for silly lil’ games like this.” Dean waves that away and snorted. Rufus in war, ha. He was too smart for that.  
“ No, Alfie. I saw him in line this morning.” Missouri shook her head and looked up from the cow she was milking. She set the second full bucket aside and stood, distressed at the news.  
“ He ain’t old enough for that, lord he can’t go! You gotta get him out.” Dean shook his head. It was almost twenty five dollars to get out of enlisting, no one really had that kind of money.  
“ There ain’t no way I can, or I woulda done it already.” Missouri sighed. She bent down and took up both milk buckets and nodded for Dean to open the barn door. It surprised him to see a lowering sun, it had to be nearly dinner time.  
“ I’ll take care of him, I got two reasons to go now.” Missouri hobbled out of the door, weighed down by the heavy buckets. Dean took one to lessen to load.  
“ Don’t you dare go out there and get killed Winchester. Cas wont have nothing if it weren’t for you.” She walked ahead, ending the conversation. It was a lot to think about. Cas really didn’t have much, but the war could fix that. Dean could buy a better house, some more horses. He could make sure Cas had something even when he wasn’t around. Now that Dean really thought about it Missouri hadn’t meant material possessions. Cas didn’t have anyone, really he could talk to. He had Sam and two brothers, but aside from that he had no one. Dean was his closest friend and now he was going to be marching out to his death.  
“ I figure I shoulda thought this one over a bit more, whaddya think, Pala?” He stroked the horse’s nose and walked slowly up the hill, careful not to slip in any muddy patches.

It was quiet during dinner, hardly a word was spoken. Finally, Dean had enough.  
“ You know, I ain’t the only one goin’.” Dean paused so as to get Cas’ attention.  
“ Well, corse’ you ain’t the only one goin’.” Cas snapped, taking a sip of water.  
“ No, what I meant to say is I saw your brother in line when I went up this morning. It surprised me. I thought he was only fifteen.” Cas dropped his fork and stared at Dean slack jawed.  
“ You mean to tell me Alfie was there-little Alfie?” Dean nodded and Cas stood up quickly and walked to the door. “ If this be one of your jokes it ain’t funny Dean, tellin you right now.” Dean grabbed his own coat and slid it on. Apparently they were going to the Novak farm.  
“ You think I would joke bout’ sunthin like this?” Cas shook his head and went out the door. They walked in silence for a few moments before Cas finally spoke.  
“ I sure am gonna miss you.” His hand found Dean’s in the semi-darkness and he squeezed it reassuringly.  
“ I know, but If I go things will be better. We’ll have more mone-”  
“ I don’t care about the money, Dean.” Cas said harshly. He cleared his throat.  
“ I just care that you still be alive when all’s said and done.” Dean nodded, it was dark but he had a feeling Cas knew he agreed. It took another five minutes of walking before they even saw the Novak house in the distance, but they could hear the music and laughter of some of the workers. The novaks owned a large plantation with just about seventy five workers who had living quarters on the other side of the fields. Despite the regulatory treatment of a colored person, those folks lived rather well, they got their own outhouse and other utilities. The Novaks didn’t see any use in torturing the tortured, neither did the Winchesters. MIssouri used to work in the Novak house before she came to live with Dean and Cas. The woman was like a mother to all three Novak children, and she loved them so. Gabriel, the oldest was the only one who really remembered their birth mother, let alone their father. Both were rich and both hungered for adventure, on evening they went out and never came back, leaving their children with their slaves.  
“ How you reckon Gabe will handle the news with that heart of his givin’ him trouble. Last thing ya’ll need is to have him holed up in a hospital some place” Cas sighed a long tired sigh. It’s not often you hear a breath like that, a breath questioning it’s worth to finish.  
“ I haven’t the slightest. He been working out with the farm hands past couple of days, I suppose he’ll be fine.” They finally came to the porch, a well lighted wooden structure with a few chairs situated around a rough looking wooden table. The table held a few glasses and a pitcher of water. There was a rocking chair set down by an awning with two of the farms littlest children looking up at the stars.  
“ Wonder where them stars all came from?” one of them said, they seemed to be siblings about ten years of age.  
“ Them stars up there come from the wished of little’uns like you.” the two jumped and stared, as if caught doing something they weren’t supposed to.  
“ Hiya master Cas, you come in for a visit?” before Cas could enter, Alfie came to the door, hat askew on his head.  
“ Well, whuddya two doin here?” a pipe hung from between his teeth, and his skin was burnt red from the sun.  
“ Came to talk to yer brother” Alfie opend the screen door and stood by it, waiting for the two to enter.  
“ You ain’t come to talk to me? Shucks,” He held a hand to his heart in mock hurt. “ You done break my heart” Alfie grinned. He was a smart boy, only fifteen but he could read and write better than any boy Dean or Cas had met. He wasn’t tall, but he wasn’t short he stood about five feet. He had a round, young looking face and bright green eyes that shone with excitement at the simplest things. For a boy who never knew a father Dean figured he’d be better off than the rest.  
“ No, you be the one causing the heartache,” Dean muttered, straightening the boy’s hat and taking his pipe. “ We came to talk about the fool you are for enlisting.” the boy’s face turned a pale grey color and he swallowed hard.  
“ Now you just wait!” Dean pushed past him and walked down the hall, Cas right behind him.  
“ You just wait one damn minute!” they were all in the sitting room now. Gabriel was sitting by the window carving at a block of wood. When he heard the commotion he looked up, mischievous glint ever so present in his eyes.  
“ Well, hello you you too. What all that ruckus here about?” Alfie glared at Dean, then at Cas before sitting roughly on a stool.  
“ Hey Gabriel, got some news for ya. I’d put the knife down if I were you.” Gabriel squinted at Dean, turning his body so he was facing him.  
“ What’s going on, you okay Cassie?” Castiel waved his hand to say he was fine, and sat next to his brother.  
“ Dean had enlisted to fight the North. He went this morning.” Gabriel sat there for a moment and frowned.  
“ You ain’t telling me you ran all the way up here to tell me he gonna shoot up some Yankees,”  
“ No, we came down here to tell you that your blockhead of a brother was there too.” Gabriel took a moment to look between Cas and Alfie, sizing them up. His eyes widened and his knuckles went white around the handle of the knife.  
“ You told me you was out huntin, Samandriel.” Alfie cringed at his full name, and shrunk into his chair. “ Why you tell me you gonna go huntin when you just done signed your life away?” Gabriel didn’t yell, he didn’t stand or swat the boy for being stupid. He simply stared.  
“ I know you ain’t gonna go yerself, and I know we gon have to get more money somehow. I seen the way those damned taxes get to you. You can’t buy your medicine, and I weren’t about to let you die.” he crossed his arms, cheeks flushed red with frustration.  
“ That’s why Dean went and signed up,” Cas said, looking his brother in the eye. “ War ain’t a place for boys like you” Alfie was quiet for a moment, then he laughed.  
“ What d’ ya mean ‘boys like me’? What am I like?” Alfie was standing, his body was trembling with anger.  
“ I ain’t got nothin’. I ain’t nothin’.Ain’t no one gonna miss a body they don’t know is there.” with that he straightened the strap of his overall and stomped out of the house. It was quiet for a long moment, the only thing that could be heard was the faint music and voices from across the field, and crickets and locusts singing their nightly hum. Dean was the first to speak.  
“ I ought to go get him.” He stood but Cas pushed him back down again.  
“ He’s my brother, sides you won't’ know where he’ll be hiding.” that was true. Cas was only ten years older than Alfie, when they were young they ran wild down by the creek. The creek was their secret place, not many people knew much about it. It was about a mile out and hidden by some of the tallest trees Cas had ever seen. The banks were thick and muddy, littered with huge rocks they used to jump to and fro on. 

When the thud of his step turned to be more of a squash of saturated soil, Cas ducked under a few branches. He looked over the water, which reflected the starry sky warping it into a moving masterpiece. It didn’t take long to find Alfie. He was sitting on a rock, leaning back on a tree. He held a little frog in his hand, and stroked it’s head with his thumb. Cas marveled at how it didn’t struggle from his grasp.  
“ I dunno, Jitters. I guess I probably shoulda told Gabe bout signing up, but then the whole thing woulda been messed up.” the frog croaked, as if a reply to Alfie’s confession.  
“ You ever say anything other than that?” After another moment, Alfie let go of the frog and it splashed back into the water. Cas saw this as his chance, and he walked over to the rock and knocked on it.  
“ Mind if I join ya?” Alfie looked down and back up again.  
“ Yeah, don’t mean you gonna go away though.” Cas smiled.  
“ Suppose you’re right. Mind if I ask who you was talkin’ to just now?” He hoisted himself up onto the rock and next to Alfie. The view of the moon was astounding, and the stars shone brighter than ever.  
“ That was Jitters. She’s a frog.” Alfie picked at the rock underneath him, not looking anywhere but his brothers eyes.  
“ And what did Jitter have to say bout’ this fix you got youself into?” A soft wind floated by, and the sweet aroma of pond lilies and maple tickled his nose.  
“ Nothin’ more than you’d expect a frog to say, I guess.” after a moment, Alfie seemed to make up his mind. He was going to talk.  
“ I just...I ain’t got nothin’ here. Sure I got to creek and home, but I ain’t got no one. I’m all on my lonesome. Hell, I was just talking to a damned frog for christ sakes.” This struck Cas as odd. Alfie was a charmer, a person who’d talk to you until you talk back. He had many little friends running around when he was young.  
“ Why you stay up here? Why don’t you go down into town and talk with the boys down there?” Alfie’s eyes saddened, and he looked out into the vast darkness of the field.  
“ Some folk don’t like the way we treat the likes of Missouri and Rufus. They says it’s dirty, like lettin’ a dog sleep in yer bed.” the words were hateful and they stung his tongue, and he didn’t believe a single word of it.  
“ They ain’t too much better to Dean,” Cas commented, and alfie sat up straighter out of curiosity.  
“ Why?”  
“ The way we are. People don’t take too kindly to the idea of two men sharing a bed. But ain’t no one gonna stop us. Yeah they can be mean, they can kill our dog and break our windows, but we don’t love any less cause of it.” It was true. The town had been all but accepting to their courtship. They had broken into the house and destroyed the place, killed Dean’s dog and a few of their horses. It had been terrible. People spit at them, whispered behind their backs and pulled their children away but for what?  
“ You gotta learn there’s a lot of stupid out there, and sometimes there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it cept be the smart one.” Alfie tossed a small rock into the water, making a loud clunk sound.  
“ I’d rather be stupid than be alone.” he stood, brushed himself off and jumped off the rock.  
“ You know, you lucky you got somethin’ to hang on to. You ain’t slippin’ like the rest of us. You know where you’re goin’” so that was what this was about. Alfie was afraid for the future. He was right, though. Being the youngest had it’s blessing and it’s curse, and a terrible one at that. One day Alfie truly would be alone. Cas, Dean and Gabriel would all be dead, and he would be alone. He feared the future. Who didn’t?


	2. Hello, Good Bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is explicit, but the rating will go back down by chapter three. Thank so much fore reading, and once again we don't have a beta so there are going to be mistakes. :) Happy reading.

With the news of Dean and Alfie’s enlistment came also the news of a party to see the men off. There would be dancing and drinking and games, anything to get people’s minds off of what was to come. All the men who enlisted were to go back to the desks to retrieve their uniforms and other issued items such as canteens, tin cups, bowls and cutlery. Dean had decided to go early to get it out of the way. The trip wouldn’t take long, and after he was going to take Alfie, Cas and Gabriel down to see Sam. Sam still lived in their childhood home further out in the woods. The house was old, and had been in the family for generations. It was a saltbox house, with whitewashed walls and pretty sanded floors. It was wonderful, and most of Dean’s fond memories revolved around it. Dean decided he would take Alfie into town with him, the boy still needed his uniform and Dean wanted to talk with him. When Pala trotted up the dirt path of the house Dean hopped off and tied her to a fence post near a barrel full of water. He looked out in the field and heard the regular workers, some stood and waved to him. He waved back before knocking on the door. It was Alfie who answered.  
“ Come on boy, we gotta ride into town and get uniforms.” Alfie raised an eyebrow, considering being resilient before grabbing his hat and walking out the door.  
“ Hear bout the dance they’s gon’ have in town center?” Dean asked, taking his seat on the drive cart and waiting for Alfie to do the same.  
“ yeah, I’m not much for all that dancin’” Dean snickered a bit at the excuse.  
“ So you got some special someone you gon’ bring?” Dean shouted for Pala to get moving and they were making their way down to town.  
“ No, figure I’d meet someone there.” The sun shone bright and Alfie tugged his hat lower over his eyes. He pulled his pipe out and stuck it in his mouth. Cas and Missouri hated the fact that they smoked, and Cas constantly told Dean that is was ‘unsanitary’.  
“ Good plan, we head out tomorrow you know. There’s still time to get yerself out of this.” Dean stopped the cart fo a gaggle of school children trying to get into the fields. Their teacher held a large basket and the smell of fresh bread and sweet molasses perfumed the air.  
“ How’s it goin Miss Jess?” the woman smiled and waved as did some of the children.  
“ I’m just dandy Mr. Winchester! Suppose I see you tonight at the party?” Dean grinned and nodded and Alfie blushed at a pretty young girl who stood by the woman. When they were once again well on their way Dean nudged Alfie in the ribs.  
“ I seen you looking at that little missus back there. You better step in line.” the boy just grinned and looked away.

After about another hour of waiting for uniforms and information about the next morning. Dean waited for a moment after all the other men had gone to talk to the General who was running the round up.  
“ Wait here, I’m gonna see if I can’t get you a drum. You ain’t gonna fight if I can help it.” Alfie’s jaw nearly hit the ground.  
“ What makes you think I’m gonna agree to that?” He crossed his arm and puffed out his chest, attempting to make himself more intimidating.  
“ I care more about Pala’s ass than what you agree to.” Dean started walking and Alfie practically jogged to keep up with him, little clouds of red dust floating in his wake.  
“ You can’t do that! That ain’t fair! I wanna fight.” Dean sighed, he was tired of it. Tired of it all.  
“ Damn skippy I can do it. You don’t know what the fight really is, boy. You ever shoot anything other than a mad cow?” that seemed to shut him up. Within ten minutes, Alfie would have a large drum and drumsticks hoisted over his shoulder.  
“ I know you’re mad, but what d’ ya say we go get us a cold one?” his eyes light up and he nearly dropped the drum.  
“ You serious? you won’t tell Gabe?” They unloaded the drum into the back of Dean’s cart and fed Pala a few sugar cubes.  
“ Why the hell would I tell your brother? He’d be madder than a flea bitten dog.” Alfie snickered and followed Dean into a small pub round the corner from the feed shop. When Dean entered the pub he was greeted enthusiastically by it’s partons, he was a regular.  
“ What you got the little one with you for?” Alfie huffed, annoyed at being called little.  
“ Figure it’s fair he get a drink before tomorrow, can’t hurt nothing” the room quieted a bit when Dean mentioned the only thing that wasn’t being talked about.  
“ Guess it won’t hurt much now.” the man set two glasses down and filled them. Dean hated the way the bartender spoke as if they were already dead. He liked to have some kind of faith in something. He wasn’t too sure about the heavens but he knew he could trust himself, maybe even Alfie.  
“ Hey Dean,” Alfie took a long sip of his beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  
“ Does Souri know I enlisted?” his eyes shifted from side to side, as if he was expecting her to come out of nowhere.  
“ No, and you gon’ tell her cause I sure as hell ain’t” Alfie sighed and pushed his glass away, no longer in the mood.  
“ Well better get it done with.” Dean nodded and stood. He said his goodbyes and left the pub Alfie trailing behind him like a beaten puppy. 

An hour and a half later they were all on their way to see Sam, Dean’s younger brother. The wood that surrounded the house the thick and untamed, making the cart jostle and jump as the four men tried to keep seated.  
“ I don’ see why he still lives out here, I might just break a bone from sittin’ here” there would be mutual agreement to Alfie’s complaint if the cracking of the sticks hadn’t been so loud. When they pulled up to the house the door was already open, Sam was chopping wood next the the chimney chute. When he looked up to see them arrive he set his hatchet down and wiped his brow with the back of a gloved hand.  
“ Heya Dean,Cas,Gabriel heya Alfie. What are y’all doing round here?” Dean and Cas hopped from the cart with no trouble as did Gabriel. Alfie seemed to have misjudged the height for he fell hard and flat on his stomach. Dean didn’t laugh until he got up and tried to make it look like nothing happened.  
“ You been eatin’ dirt there buddy?” Dean snorted, as did Gabriel who was nearly bent double laughing.  
“ It ain’t funny!” Alfie huffed, wiping dirt and leaves off of his already dirty clothes.  
“ It really wasn’t, you act like you don’t fall walking up the hill in the morning,Dean.” Dean stopped laughing and started at Cas.  
“ That’s a different story, though. The boy just fell on his face like he ain’t know how to walk yet.” Cas shrugged and walked into the house, leaving Dean in his wake.  
“ It was funny” Gabriel whispered after Cas and Alfie were out of earshot. Dean nodded and tried not to laugh as he walked into the house.  
The conversation went better than expected, Sam was burnt out that Dean was refusing to let him fight, but he seemed to accept he had something to stay for.  
“ See with all this money I make you can get you some books and study. Then you can go to a university and be the smartest man alive. That’s my Sammy, smartest man alive!” Dean patted his brother on the back, beaming with pride. The Winchester brothers were very close, Dean being more of a father to Sam then any father could be.  
“ Yeah, sure Dean.” Sam tossed another bit of wood inot the fireplace and sat back in his chair.  
“ Why ain’t Cas goin’?” Gabriel made a face and looked down, as if he were ashamed.  
“ On accoun tof me I figure. Alfie’s gone and signed up and Cas is all I’ll have here. If sumthin were to happen with, ya know.” he thumped his chest over his heart and shrugged. Gabriel had never really been healthy, not even as a child. While other children would run and play Gabriel would stand hunched over, wheezing.  
“ I don’t like all this anyhow,” Cas remarked. He truthfully didn’t understand why they were fighting. All the details seemed to get overturned and overshadowed by the promise of a fight.  
“ Only reason I’m going is to make sure this blockhead over here don’t get killed and to make a few extra dollars. I’ll be back for’ you know it.” and that was it. They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. It was the last Dean would see of Sam for a long time.

“ You’s a special kind of stupid ain’t you?” Alfie sat across from Missouri at the wooden table centered in the middle of the kitchen, his face in his hands.  
“ I ain’t stupid! I just wanted to do something-” Missouri cut him off by throwing a dishrag at him.  
“So you goen done something stupid! Don’t you roll dem eyes at me boy! I should hide you good...” She turned back around muttering fiercely beneath her breath.  
“ I said I was sorry,” Alfie stood and leaned against the table.  
“ Sorry won’t be much if you layin on the ground dead.” Missouri grabbed the boy into a fierce hug and squeezed him hard. She sniffed, and wiped her eye before a single tear could fall.  
“ Go on n’ get dressed. Take a bath too. You smell like a horse.” Alfie nodded and head upstairs to wash up, grabbing his uniform off the third step. Missouri went back to her cooking, and Dean changed into his own uniform. It was an odd feeling, the fabric pulled around his shoulders and clung to his chest, not at all like his loose work clothes. Bronze buttons ran along the left side of his chest and on either side of his wrists. He felt ridiculous. After lacing up his boots he decided to look for Cas. It really wouldn’t be hard to find him, the house was small and only had two stories. The rooms were rather small and most had several windows that let in the evening light. The whole thing was situated on a small hill, where one could see the tiny plot of land and the large cattle run that was at the base. It was the most beautiful place Dean had ever seen, especially early in the morning when the dew clung to everything and shimmered like rubies in the new day’s sun.  
When Dean walked into the spare room at the end of the hall, he found Cas staring absentmindedly out the window. His hands fiddled with his white gloves, pulling them up and down every so often. He was dressed in some of his nicest clothes, a long tan dress jacket hung loosely over his shoulders, opening up to expose his white shirt. It was the same coat that he had worn on their wedding day, and it made Dean’s breath hitch. He cleared his throat, announcing his presence, and smiled when Cas turned to look at him. “Now I know I look ridiculous. So don’t go an’ say nothin. You hear?”  
Cas stood and walked towards him, eyes running along his body, stopping to stare into Dean’s eyes. “You do not look ridiculous,” When Dean opened his mouth to protest, Cas quickly stopped him by placing his hand over the other’s shoulder, “You look handsome, and just like the man that I fell in love with.” Dean’s chest puffed out and he looked down at his shoes.  
“ Shucks, you ain’t gotta be a girl about it” he laughed to himself and looked across the room and out the window.  
“ Gotta go soon, can’t let no party start without me.” Dean turned to go downstairs and tell Alfie it was time to leave.  
Castiel nodded in agreement, following Dean as the collected Alfie and making their way towards their carriage. Four horses were tied to the front of it, two more than what was needed so that anyone who wished to leave early could. Castiel stepped in carefully, holding Dean’s hand in his as they sat. They would not be able to spend too much time together at the dance, the townspeople would grow suspicious otherwise, so Castiel was trying to soak up as much time with Dean as he could. The trip to town was a slow one, but as they approached the dance hall, music quickly filled the carriage and all of their spirits seemed to be lifted. Separating hands, Dean and Castiel made their way out of the carriage, waiting for Alfie before heading towards the doors of the Dance hall.  
The music grew louder as the door to the dance hall swung open. Castiel moved a little way away from Dean, as to avoid any freak episodes of homophobia from the crowd. His eyes skimmed over the sea of men in grey uniforms and women in dresses of every color. Smiling, Dean led him into the dance line as soon as the next song began. Nodding to each other, Cas and Dean followed the other dancers, meeting in the middle with their respected partners to touch hands and turn before moving back to their original spots, bowing and moving onto the next partner. Cas greeted each familiar face with a smile, laughing and chatting with each of them as they spun around the room. Reaching his last partner before the end of the song, Castiel was surprised to see a face that he didn’t recognize.  
Nodding to the new woman, Cas lead them down the line. Trying to be polite, Cas treated her as any other partner, but the way she stared at him made chills run up his spine. When the song was finally over, Cas almost sighed in relief, seeking out Dean in order to speak with him.  
When he reached him, Castiel found Dean chatting with a lovely redhead. Turning at the sound of Castiel approaching, he smiled, “Pardon me ma'am, but my friend and I have some business to attend to.” Bowing to her he turned and walked with Castiel, “I’ve built up quite a mighty thirst. What do you say, we grab some wine?” Dean asked, leading Cas towards the edge of the crowed and to the Bar.  
“That’s a fine idea.” Cas agreed, allowing Dean to move towards the bar as he rested against the wall. Slowly catching his breath, Castiel jumped slightly when a hand rested on his shoulder.  
“Excuse me sir, but you caught my eye earlier an’ I thought I’d come an’ talk to you,” The woman was shorter than castiel, her long brown hair falling in delicate curls around her shoulder and her mouth curled up in a predatory smile, “My name is Meg, and who might you be?”  
“Castiel,” Cas said politely, shaking the woman’s hand and hoping that that would be the end of that, but the stranger was relentless. 

 

“You’re the rich bachelor aren’t you?” She asked, leaning forward and examining Cas closely.  
Castiel stared back at her “You could put it that way, but i’m not interested in the idea of marriage,” he tried to move away, but was stopped when his back hit a wall.  
“Is that so?” She asked, cornering him further, “Maybe I could change that.” She whispered into his ear, making Castiel’s back stiffen in discomfort. She moved to touch his arm, stopping when a hand tapped her on the shoulder. She turned sharply glaring at the man behind her, Castiel sighing in relief when he saw who it was.  
“Excuse me miss, but I need to borrow my friend there for a short while. We have some business to discuss before my departure tomorrow mornin’.”  
Meg nodded towards him politely, save for the hint of anger in her smile. Turning to Castiel, her smile broadened “We can continue this later. I hope to see you around.” She turns, her hips swaying exaggeratedly as she moved.  
Dean placed his hand on Castiel’s elbow and began leading him outside, “I believe it’s time we make our leave, I would feel much better spending my last bit of time at my home with you in my bed,” Dean said in a hushed tone as soon as they were far enough away from the crowed to be safe.  
Blushing at the statement, Cas looked down at the ground as he replied ”I would very much enjoy that as well. We’ll ride back seperately and I will be there soon.” He waited for Dean to nod in agreement before moving off to find his horse. He watched as Dean positioned himself on Impala and took down the dirt path. Waiting for a moment, Castiel looked around before mounting his own horse and making his way after the other man.  
Arriving at the plantation, Castiel quickly secured his horse in it’s stall before making his way towards the main house. Once inside, he was pushed up against the wall by Dean who began to nibble along his neck. “Bedroom,” Castiel gasped out weakly. Dean growled in frustration, but eventually nodded in agreement, leading them up to the bedroom quickly. Dean’s actions were making it hard for him to focus and he’d rather this occur in a place where they could curl together afterwards.  
Dean held Castiel close to him as they entered their bedroom. Turning him, like he would inte ballroom, “Wanted to dance with you all night,” Dean whispered is Castiel’s ear, smiling as Castiel began to chuckle. “I felt myself very drawn to you all this evening Dean” Castiel whispered back, hand resting on the man’s chest.  
“Then tell me what you reckon I do about it,” Dean smiled mischievously, hand moving to rub circles on Castiel’s back as they continued to sway together slowly.  
Cas’ face flushed as he began to speak again, lips loosened by the alcohol. “I want you to make love to me tonight, just like you did on our promise night” his voice was growing ruff, eyes blown wide with lust.  
Hearing Cas speak in such a way made Dean’s cock stir in his pants, a small moan escaping his lips. “Who am I to say no to such a wonderful suggestion?” He asked, tipping Cas back and kissing his neck, reveling in the way Cas’ breath hitched in his throat.  
Cas pulled at the gold buttons decorating Dean’s coat, unbuttoning them one by one before pushing the coat down his shoulders. “Gonna miss you so much when your-” Dean stopped Cas mid sentence with a fierce kiss.  
“Don’t speak like that. We’s together now and that’s all that matters. I don’t want to think about anything else, but you... but us.” He kissed Cas again, much gentler this time, the both of them slowly pulling off the other’s clothes.  
Dean pushed Cas gently onto their bed, eyes roaming over the shorter man’s body. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?” Castiel asked, blush spreading across his face as he moved his hands to cover his body.  
Dean grabbed them before they could, “You’re so beautiful Cas,” He licked his lips and allowed his hand to run down Cas’ hip, “I want to remember you just like this. So ready for me yet still so innocent.”  
Cas’ blush spread further, but he smiled up at Dean, pulling him in for another kiss. Dean broke the kiss this time, the both of them panting for breath. He leaned over to reach their side drawer and pulled out a small jar of slick. “Gonna take this real slow Cas, make sure you’re all good.” His hand rubbed soothing circles along Cas’ thigh before dipping his other hand down to spread slick along his fingers.  
He let it warm on his fingers for a moment before moving them towards the cleft of Castiel’s ass. He circled it slightly before pushing it in, taking in Castiel’s face as he prepared him. He felt the other man’s hand clench against his shoulder as his muscles slowly loosened allowing Dean to move more easily. Soon enough he was adding a second finger, then a third and was crooking them, trying to find the spot in Castiel that made him cry out. He knew he had it when Castiel’s hips bucked off of the bed and he hissed in pleasure.  
“Dean please, I am ready,” He moaned, grabbing Dean by the shoulders and quickly pulling him up into another kiss. Dean nodded his head in agreement, before reaching out to grab more slick and slide it along his cock. Lining himself up with Castiel’s entrance, Dean pushed in slowly, kissing along Castiel’s jaw as he did so.  
They both sighed when Dean bottomed out, panted breaths the only thing that was heard in the room. Cas moved his hips first, drawing out a gasp from Dean, that quickly turned into a growl as he began into the tight heat of Castiel’s ass. Castiel pressed shaky hands against Dean’s back as he held him closer to him. So many thoughts and emotions passed through Cas as he held Dean there. This could be the last time he and Dean ever did this, the last time that they were this close, the last time he even saw him. He shut out all of these thoughts, determined to keep this moment one that he could cherish.  
He cried out again as Dean hit the spot inside of him again, distracting him from everything else. “So perfect, you’re so perfect Cas” Dean spoke into Castiel’s neck. They rocked together slowly, drawing it all out as long as they could. Their hands roamed over each other’s bodies,trying to memorize every detail of the other.  
Castiel could feel himself getting close, he bit his lip in an attempt to hold off just a bit longer, but when Dean growled out a low, “Castiel,” He felt his release rip through him.  
“Dean!” He cried out, body shaking in pleasure. He felt Dean’s hips stutter before they began to move again, much faster now. It wasn't long before Dean himself came on done, painting Cas’ inner walls with cum. They stayed like that for a moment, kissing each other as much as possible, before Dean slowly unsheathed himself.  
Tiredly, Dean moved to grab two sleepshirts, watching as Castiel slipped his on, before doing the same with his own. The chill night air still nipped at their skin lightly, but they clothes kept much of it at bay. Dean slipped back into bed next to Castiel, who wrapped his arms around him and held him close. They didn’t say anything, neither one wanting to ruin the moment with a goodbye. Dean soon fell asleep, Castiel watching over him and running his hands through his hair lazily. It wasn’t long before he too fell asleep to the sound of Dean’s even breaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted soon.

**Author's Note:**

> The rating will go up for chapter two but back down again for chapter three. Also this work is not beta(e)d. We had a bad-very bad experience with the first beta we had so we decided not to have on unless we are sure we will be taken seriously.


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